faith. trust. pixie dust.

The way you love me is euphoric.

I know you’re reading this. ;) your touch gets me high. Nothing on earth is as wonderful as the way your skin feels and smells and the way your body moves against mine. I love you so much.

No matter how okay you are there’s somethings you just don’t want to know. I never want to hear you say you love me anymore. You were like a chronic sickness I couldn’t sweat out. I swear I had to die and come back to life to forget the way I felt and move past you.

You wanted all the perks of a girlfriend and none of the work. Didnt take the time to get to know me and anything you didn’t like you wrote off as weird.

Andrew loves all of me.

Even the bad parts that I swore no one could love, my angel boy loves them. You only loved the good parts. The body, the reputation, the shock value of a 16 year old sophomore dating an 18 year old senior who was ever bit woman as you were boy. The side of life your parents had hid from you that I gladly showed you. The rush of a summer romance, the fan in the stand.

But my troubles were greeted with “it will be okay” and my concerns met with silence. You never really wanted to be there.

If you would have asked me a year ago, I never leave you. I’d swallow the world in an attempt to keep you happy and wanting to be with me.

But now I see things differently. I spent so much time trying to prove I was deserving of your time, I didnt realize you didn’t deserve mine. Not my time, my heart, my trust, or my love. So do not send me your empty words in messages from my friends. I needed them so badly a year ago and received silence. Times up, trains gone, page turned, lesson learned. I don’t love you anymore.